After the War
by idwir
Summary: No one is okay after the Titan War. Based on this post - lilybluebluelily./post/125791403053/zoenightshadow-okay-but-like-the-whole
1. Travis (I)

After the war Travis feels empty.

He feels empty, but when he sees his cabin looking at him – most of all, when he sees Connor looking at him – he forces a smile on his face and laughs. He almost chokes.

He doesn't though.

Instead he motions at his half-siblings and shouts, "C'mon!" He looks around for Percy and Annabeth and hopes nobody will pay him any attention once a real leader is around.

Travis sees the rubble and destruction caused and the emptiness hurts. He thinks he should be happy. They won after all. He had told everyone they would win but the whole time he didn't believe it. Now here his friends and family were and he had been right but it didn't feel good.

He spots Katie Gardner in the middle of a collapsed building. She's cradling a dead demigod in her arms and crying. Then he notices that's what a lot of campers are doing.

The first day back at camp he tries to pretend everything is normal.

The thing is, nothing is normal.

As soon as they get back to camp, he and Connor decide to lead the others in throwing Percy and Annabeth into the Lake. People laugh but it all sounds fake to him. He leaves them to it and instead goes back to Cabin 11 to start making boxes for his brothers and sisters that didn't make it back. For their families if they had one.

He and Connor were supposed to do it together but he can't put his little brother through that.

Looking at how little some of his dead siblings had, Travis feels like he might want to cry. He can't so he tries to get angry.

Realizing he can't feel anything right now, he quickly finishes packing and labeling the boxes. He takes them to the Big House.

The only other person there is Katie Gardner.

Her eyes are red and she looks awful.

She sniffles, carefully placing box on top of box.

Travis doesn't bother letting her know he's there. He also doesn't bother trying to mess with her. Somehow he knows that would just make them both feel worse.

He stacks his boxes next to hers and she startles.

Quickly, she wipes at her cheeks and nose.

"Travis," she says.

He looks at her. He watches a tear leak out of the corner of her eye. Instinctually, he reaches out and brushes it away with his thumb.

And somehow, the girl he called his arch nemesis becomes the reason he stays for as long as he does.

He tries his hardest to pretend the war didn't change him but the emptiness never leaves him. He laughs and jokes with his siblings. He watches some of them fall apart. Connor becomes angry and distant but Travis just keeps forcing laughter out of his throat.

He goes to the woods as often as he can without it getting suspicious. He finds her in the same spot every time surrounded by brown vines and half-dead flowers. It's a stark contrast compared to the green grass and rushing waterfall she sits near.

When he feels like he can't take it anymore, like he can't keep up this façade, he thinks about the woods. He thinks about Katie's desperate kisses and her nails leaving red lines down his back as her hips dig into his.

He stays at camp for exactly one month after the war before he decides he can't take it anymore. He knows it's time to leave when he wants to walk past Katie's dead foliage and keep walking until, unarmed, he finds a monster to tear him to pieces.

Two kids had already done it and a third attempted to but was stopped by four wood nymphs.

He talks to Chiron about leaving camp, then goes to see Katie.

He lets her pull him to the ground and kiss his lips, but when she tries to pull his orange camp shirt over his head, he stops her. She bites his lip, hard.

"Katie," he starts. When she tries to kiss him again, he holds her back by her shoulders. He takes in the dark circles under her eyes, her tangled brown hair and for the first time in a long time he thinks he feels something. A little quiver where his heart should be.

"I'm leaving."

He can see her processing his words. A line forms between her eyebrows.

"I can't stay here anymore. I think – I think I'll go crazy if I stay. I don't know how to stop it. I just can't st – I can't take it."

He watches the tears rolling down her cheeks until his vision goes blurry.

When he blinks, he realizes he's crying, too. He touches his fingertips to his face, then stares perplexed at the glistening wetness.

"Y-you can come with me, if you want," he chokes out. "Please come with me, Katie."

She's so still he thinks time has frozen. Then suddenly he's being pulled back by his arms. He looks around wildly, trying to spot the monster that's attacking.

He's dropped onto his back before he sees more vines growing down from the large tree in front of him, forming the rest of Katie's wall.

"Katie!" Travis calls. "Please! Just talk to me!"

He shouts her name until his throat hurts but it's no use. So he stands up, wipes his face, fixes the bag he'd packed the night before on his shoulder, and leaves.


	2. Annabeth (I)

After the war Annabeth can't stop thinking.

Thinking maybe she could have done something differently to stop Luke from becoming so resentful. Thinking she should have noticed sooner how unhappy he had really been. Thinking she should have been a better friend to him.

She thinks late into the darkest hours of the night and is still thinking by the time the sun rises in the morning.

She tries to keep busy with school and rebuilding Olympus but even then her mind never quiets. Percy takes her to Camp Half-blood every weekend and she still can't decide whether that makes it worse or not.

When she manages to fall asleep it's not long before she feels the pain of being stabbed by a poisoned blade. Or sees Luke killing himself to stop Kronos.

Percy tells her she should start going for runs to tire herself out. It hasn't helped him but maybe it will help her.

One night she manages to fall asleep at a decent time. Then her roommate tries to wake her and Annabeth ends up putting a knife to her throat before her eyes are fully open.

About two weeks into the semester she starts forgetting to eat. She doesn't have time for anything that isn't school, running, or her blueprints for Olympus. The only reason Percy gets to see her is because she does her homework in his family's little apartment.

He tells her the only time he feels safe enough to sleep is when she's around so while she does her readings for class, she runs her fingers through his hair until his breathing slows and evens out. Then she returns to planning and studying and thinking.

Always thinking.

Her studying always goes uninterrupted for about half an hour, then he starts screaming and she has to shake him from his nightmares. Sometimes she can figure out what he's dreaming about. When it's uncontrollable screaming, he's dreaming about bathing in the River Styx. When he's tossing and turning, she has to get to Riptide before he does so another couch doesn't get destroyed. When he cries and pleads with the gods it's about her. Fifty percent of the time it's about her.

On a particularly sunny weekend, as Percy starts to pull her up Half-blood Hill, they run into Travis Stoll. Tears are running down his face, which shocks Annabeth.

Then she remembers a conversation she had with Percy not too long ago.

" _How can he be laughing all the time?" she had asked. "Why can't we all be dealing with everything like Travis? Nothing's wrong with him."_

 _Percy had watched Travis for a moment longer, his eyebrows furrowed, before saying, "Something is wrong with him. I'd hate to be around when he finally realizes it."_

"Hey, where you going, man?" Percy reaches out and puts a hand on Travis' shoulder.

Travis pushes a hand through his curly brown hair and takes a shaky breath. "I can't stay here. Do me a favor and check on Katie, please?"

"Katie Gardner?" Percy is confused. "Demeter cabin?"

Travis nods. "In the trees, to the east. She'll be hard to miss. If you don't bring her food, she won't eat."

"Is she okay?" he asks him tentatively.

"Are any of us okay?"

Travis walks past them and Annabeth feels sick. She quickly lets go of Percy's hand so that she can bend over and vomit but there's nothing in her stomach. Percy rubs her back and holds her hair as she dry heaves and sobs.

They sit at the bottom of the hill for an hour before she gains control over herself again.


	3. Katie (I)

After the war Katie can't see the point in anything.

She's supposed to be there for her cabin. But who cares if she's there for them when they're safe if she can't be when they're being killed right in front of her?

She's Katie Gardner. She's the rule follower. She's the example. She's supposed to comfort and help, but she just. Can't. Do. It.

So she doesn't.

Everything anyone has ever told her in her life, she decides to do the opposite. What's the point?

Head Counselors are responsible for making sure their cabins keep to the daily routines just like normal? Katie made herself a little hangout in the woods where she could hide and not talk to anyone.

Everyone should be looking out for the other campers, but Head Counselors are especially responsible for reporting demigods wandering into the woods unarmed and anyone in their cabin that may need to be added to the Suicide Watch List? Katie watched an Ares kid drop his weapon and keep walking farther and farther into the woods.

Don't have sex before you're married? Katie fucked Travis Stoll the first time he found her in her makeshift clubhouse made of dead vines and leaves and every time after.

Children of Demeter help things grow? Katie pulled the nutrients and water from everything she touched.

When Travis finally decides to leave, Katie nearly kills the tree and the wood nymph nearest to her. She thinks she might die. She stops going back to her cabin to sleep and stays in the woods every night.

Her stomach rumbles and she remembers she only ate because Travis brought her food. She thinks about finding a seed so that she can grow something to eat but can't bring herself to start growing again.

Annabeth joins her on weekends. She brings Katie food, but Katie never sees her eat. They sit in silence except when Percy comes and has one-sided conversations with them.

She doesn't know who brings her food during the week and she doesn't care. Logically, she knows she's not alone in the camp and that someone will be there for her when she's ready, but she _feels_ so alone. She _feels_ like nothing will ever be right again.

She _feels_ her dead sister in her arms, a weight that will never leave her.

…

He comes back for her a month later. She's floating in the lake wishing some water nymphs would just drown her already when she hears a splash.

She doesn't bother to cover her naked body, just stands up to take him in. His hair is longer, his face a little leaner.

"I thought you were dead," he explains, lifting his arms and gesturing to his soaking wet clothes.

"Let's leave," she responds back.


	4. Percy (I)

**Thank you for reading. I love hearing what you all have to say. If you have any ideas or characters you want me to write about, let me know.**

After the war Percy loses control.

He wants to hurt others the way the gods and titans and monsters and unfit parents have hurt him and his friends. When he's mad, pipes burst. People get hurt.

Sometimes he doesn't even realize it's him pulling the asshole who stomped on a kid's sandcastle under a current, or that it's him sending wave after wave cascading down onto the jerk that used crude language to describe what he would do to Percy's mom if she were his stepmom.

The ocean used to be his safe place. He could go there to calm down and relax.

Now it was just a death trap for those around him.

He had joined the swim team at his high school because he figured the more he did the less likely it was that he'd be up all night. He quit when he almost unintentionally drowned his teammate.

When he closes his eyes he feels like someone is watching him. He lays in bed at night, eyes open, Riptide gripped in his hand.

He feels safe with Annabeth around. Enough to feel okay closing his eyes, but he can't control his dreams. Sometimes all he dreams about is screaming.

Annabeth thinks they go to camp every weekend to boost the other demigods' spirits and make them feel safer, and they do. At least it's part of the reason. The other part – perhaps the larger part of why they go to camp as often as possible is he knows when he finally loses all control, it'll be better if it happens at camp. He's strong and powerful but the others can defend themselves and Chiron can stop him. He thinks.

Lying awake in Poseidon's cabin, he hears kids screaming themselves awake. He hears crying and shouting.

Finally, deciding he can't take it anymore, he slips out of bed into the cool summer night. He dodges the cleaning harpies and runs into the woods barefoot. The grass feels pleasantly cold on his feet.

He finds Katie and Annabeth curled up under the usual tree. Katie turns over whimpering and Annabeth shh's her. Percy walks slowly towards their spot, careful not to make any sudden movements so he doesn't startle them.

When he's ten steps away, Annabeth sits up and peers at him though tired eyes. She looks exhausted but so does everyone these days. Percy doesn't wait for an invitation; he just settles down on Annabeth's left and pulls her down with him.

"Please sleep," he tells her quietly. "Please."

Instead she cries. He knows she's crying because she doesn't know what else to do. He also knows she's crying for Luke. It stings his ego a bit but he shoves it down because it's ridiculous to be jealous of a dead guy and Annabeth needs him.

Percy stays awake for as long as he can. He at least waits for her to stop crying before he lets himself drift off.

" _Annabeth, do –" Luke gasps for breath. "You – love me?"_

 _Percy remembers this. He was there. He waits for Annabeth to tell Luke that she doesn't love him in the way he means._

 _He watches a tear make a trail through the dirt and dust on her face. She grasps Luke's hand._

" _Luke," she starts, a smile spreading across her face. "Of course I love you."_

 _What? This wasn't what happened. Percy felt panic rising in his chest when the pair turned to look at him._

" _Then kill him. Kill Percy Jackson."_

 _Luke hands Annabeth back her blade, the one he had given to her with a promise. A promise of family all those years before she had even known of a Percy Jackson._

 _She looks at the blade in her hand and stands up. She's smiling at Luke one second. The next she's charging at Percy._

 _He screams._

"Percy!" Annabeth yells.

His eyes fly open and when he sees Annabeth he gives a shout before pushing her away from him.

It takes a moment to realize it was just a dream. He feels the bed of leaves under his hands and hears the rushing waterfall. He breathes in and smells rotting plants. Then he sees Katie, eyes red and confused.

"Percy?" Annabeth cautiously reaches a hand out to him.

He knows the dream isn't real. Annabeth had chosen him, but he still feels hurt.

Her lip quivers and he takes her hand, telling himself over and over that it wasn't real; Annabeth would never betray him. She pulls him to her chest and rubs his back.

"You're going to be okay," she whispers. She, like most demigods, had long ago stopped using phrases such as "it was just a dream" to comfort each other, even before the war. For them it was never just a dream.


	5. Connor (I)

**This probably would be better as Chapter 3 but oh, well.**

After the war Connor is angry.

He's angry at Chiron. He's angry at the girls who cry at night and the boys who tell them it's okay. He's angry at the gods (for a second he even considers following in Luke's footsteps, less than a second). Most of all, he's angry at Travis.

Travis who laughs when no one else seems able to. Connor just doesn't get it. They used to be near identical and now they were polar opposites. The worst part for him is he knew he was the one who changed and Travis didn't change with him.

Travis still plays jokes and laughs and teases and laughs and teaches sparring and laughs and laughs and laughs and laughs and laughs.

Connor takes to giving him the cold shoulder. He bangs him with his shoulder when he walks past and pretends he can't hear him talking. He only speaks up to contradict Travis and call him anything with ass in it. Asshole. Assface. Jackass. Dumbass. Fucking ass.

He spends a whole hour watching Travis teach a class because he just wants to know how he isn't falling apart like the rest of them. At one point he thinks he sees his smile falter but then he blinks and Travis looks content again. Toward the end he notices Travis biting on his bottom lip, his eyes darting back and forth between demigods and the door.

Two minutes before class is supposed to end, Travis dismisses the others.

Instead of his chipper, "Whip your asses tomorrow!" he usually spouts, he tells them, "It's lunch."

As everyone turns away Travis seems to deflate, his shoulders slumping forward, his lips tilting downward. Then a girl calls his name and he immediately stands straighter and his smile is back.

"Could you show me how you did that thing at the beginning of class?" she asks.

"Maybe tomorrow?" Travis is still smiling but he seems distracted.

"Sure. Thanks, Travis."

Connor watches from behind a pile of old rusty chairs as Travis exits through the back door. He runs to the front exit where everyone else had left the building and sneaks around the back.

He watches his brother slip into the woods, trying hard not to draw attention to himself. Connor follows.

He's hiding behind a tree when he hears a branch snap behind him. He whirls around, his sword grasped in his hand faster than you could say "Hermes." He feels a surge of annoyance when he realizes it's Jamison.

Connor knocks on the nearest tree, keeping his eyes on the back of Travis' head. "Excuse me," he starts when he hears rustling by his ear. "Jamison again." He throws his hand behind him, not quite sure which way the suicidal demigod went.

The rustling leaves tell him several wood nymphs are on the go and Connor can sleep easier knowing he stopped an idiot from killing himself yet again. He follows behind Travis for five minutes then spends another ten peering around trees wondering where he went.

Holding his breath, he listens for his brother's voice.

"Dammit." Connor murmurs to himself.

Then he hears it. Moaning. Heavy breathing.

Conner turns around and jumps behind a tree. _Ugh_.

He recognizes the curly brown hair. He has the same hair. What he doesn't recognize – or rather who – is the girl with her legs wrapped around his brother's naked torso. She has her face buried in his neck, her nails scratching down his back, and she's clearly having sex with Travis.

Things start falling into place for Connor and he doesn't like it. Then the girl lifts her head just enough and Connor has to stifle a gasp.

He hurries to his feet and sprints as fast as he can out of the woods. He trips but catches himself on a tree. A couple of nymphs peak their heads out to glare at him.

Connor hates Travis. He hates him even more than Travis is supposed to hate Katie Gardner.

The hurt. The anger. The confusion. The anger.

When he sees Jamison walking toward the woods, he hurries over to meet him. Then he punches him out cold.


	6. Rachel (I)

After the war, Rachel feels more or less the same.

She hardly knew anybody at Camp Half-blood, only knew one name of someone that was killed. The times she feels less the same is when she is with Percy or Annabeth.

Don't get her wrong. Her heart hurt for all the kids who died and those that were left behind, but she didn't feel that personal connection to anyone. Not really.

The feeling she got when she was anywhere within Camp Half-blood other than her cave was … uncomfortable. Watching kids cry endlessly, watching them lose focus then lash out, seeing them collapse in the middle of the day from not being able to sleep and not being able to eat ... She'd always been a happy girl.

It was draining. So much sadness and anger just didn't feel right to her. And she didn't feel right trying to comfort anyone. Who was she to tell them it was all okay? Looking around, it obviously wasn't.

Anyway, nobody was looking to her for help.

Until the beginning of October.

Percy comes to find her in her cave. She's painting the walls.

"Hey."

She turns around and sees his form filling the entryway, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

Putting down her palette, she steps towards him. "What's up?"

"I – uh, nothing."

"Well, wanna have a seat and talk?"

Without a word he moves to sit on her bright orange armchair. Until that moment his face had been shrouded in shadows, but now that he's within the circle of her candlelight, she can see he looks terrible.

"You look like shit." Rachel takes the seat on her couch closest to Percy and the armchair.

He gives her a short breath of forced laughter. "Thanks."

Like most other kids at camp, Percy's eyes are bloodshot with dark, dark circles underneath. His hair more disheveled than usual, but she's a little relieved to see that his cheeks are a little more full and not sunken.

"Wanna talk about it?"

A pause. He accepts a store bought cookie with pink frosting.

"Nah, not really."

Then he starts talking about it. Part of it anyway.

"I can't sleep unless Annabeth is around," he tells her. He nibbles the cookie, more for a reason to pause than because he actually wants to eat it. "Before. But then I started having these dreams and I'm having a hard time sleeping around her, too."

"What are the dreams about?"

Percy's eyes glaze over. His breathing quickens.

The cookie crumbles in his grip and water starts falling from the ceiling. It hits him in the face just as Rachel calls his name.

"Percy!" She's crouched in front of him, looking up a crack in the cave ceiling previously not there. He splutters. "What was that?"

"I'm sorry, Rachel."

He's up and running out of her cave.

* * *

 **Thank you for your reviews. Let me know what you want and I'll try to write it/incorporate it.**


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